"Some people put walls up, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down."
-Unknown.
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In time, people suffer from emotional wounds, there is no doubt about it. As a result, they learn to use the shattered pieces of their heart to build emotional walls that (they hope) will protect them from further heart break.
The concept of "emotional vulnerability" is fascinating to me. If you give away too much information about your past, some may learn to use this knowledge to manipulate you. However, if you conspire to give too little, some may learn to misunderstand you and presume that you have no interest in pursuing any form of relationship, (be it romantic or platonic).
So it is ok to be emotionally vulnerable or to be solidly guarded? Some will argue that it is simply a matter of trust. But trust is an idea that is only developed through time and effort - (and it is, thus, the beginning of another cycle in what life calls "experience").
Because the only constant in life is "change", it is safe to assume that we all carry some kind of baggage. This is not, in any way, meant to be a negative idea because the latter example makes reference to the fact that we all own experiences which we have learned from - and these can be positive and/or negative.
So, in the process of getting to know another, what is the correct route that must be taken?
The truth is, you can't (and should not ever) force somebody to reveal what they carry inside. Only time will tell if this person is worth the wait - and you may be proud of the efforts you put into play; however, (and ultimately), it is up to that person to reveal what s/he can in the time that s/he is willing to spend with you. It is a game of patience - like a game of chess that lures your partner to respond to a move you make; and it is strategic, and it takes time (and effort).
It is said that we all display vulnerable walls - some are more visible than others. Whether these were created as a means of protection, or as a method of testing another's will to exercise the limits of their efforts, it is more than likely that, in the game of illusions and disillusions, only the experienced come out as emotionally triumphant.
